Take Ownership of Your Life

Years ago, I decided to move to Japan and start a career.

This was not something given to me. It was a decision, a path, and a plan I put together and accomplished independently.

I was working nine-to-five at a small marketing research company in Michigan.

I had never lived out of State, and the thought of living and working in Japan seemed like an obstacle I could not overcome.

I had to take ownership of my life to make my dream of having a career in Japan a reality.

Taking ownership of your life means embracing your successes and failures and recognizing that you can shape your future.

It’s not always easy, but once you take control, you unlock the door to limitless possibilities, personal growth, and long-term success.

In my case, I wanted to live and work in Japan. I had to accomplish this independently, and there was no template to follow to help me.

Let’s explore how you can start taking ownership of your life today.

Do not make decisions based on emotion. Make them based on truth without feelings. Our feelings can manipulate us. We have to grow up when it comes to making decisions.

Who makes emotional decisions? Kids do. They throw tantrums, get angry, and do dumb things they regret.

As an adult, you can still be stupid and act on your emotions, but the outcomes could last you a lifetime. Instead, set the stage for personal accountability and the transformative power of responsibility while keeping emotions out of your decisions.

On my journey to live and work in Japan, there were many days of frustration. There were setbacks and many things that were out of my control. For example, part of living permanently in Japan was finding a job and acquiring a work Visa. Things I could control were the process I put in place to secure interviews and perform actual interviews to increase my chances of getting a job. I must admit that my approach was more shotgun versus strategic. My goal was first to get a job in Japan and then work on my career progression after I was established. I could not control the Japanese government's processing and approval of my visa.

I remember being frustrated and feeling helpless about this personal project. Had I reacted with emotion, I could have had an outburst by phone or email to the company that hired me, which could have led to a retraction of my job offer. Instead, I remained professional, allowed the process to proceed, and engaged in more value-added activities like prepping for my new role in Japan!

Build Knowledge and Experience. You build accountability by creating the knowledge and experience you need to grow and succeed. You cannot remain a child forever. Kids receive everything they need to survive; unfortunately, many people I see in this world never seem to grow up.

You must commit to continuous learning and building knowledge and experience to take ownership.

The formula for this is not very complicated.

• Actively listen and observe the people and world around you. Become an active participant. Do not just exist.

• Read to expand your knowledge beyond what you observe in your day-to-day life.

• Study to allow for a more profound comprehension of your interests. Study is required to move beyond surface-level awareness to mastery of concepts and skills.

• Memorize the things that are critical to your success. Regular study reinforces memory, helping you retain and recall information more effectively. Knowledge means you can recall vital topics promptly to overcome the obstacles you will face.

• Meditate on what you have learned. Meditation trains the mind to stay present, reducing distractions and increasing one's ability to focus on tasks, including study and learning. This is a key to building one of the most critical skills for success: discipline.

• Application. You have to apply what you learn. This is where the phrase "book-smart" comes from. We build experience and learn how to solve problems by applying knowledge. While studying provides foundational knowledge, using that knowledge in real-life situations allows you to see how theories work in practice, bridging the gap between learning and doing.

My journey to work and live in Japan followed all of these steps. I actively listened to people who had either studied or worked in Japan. This is where I learned about exchange programs and English teacher programs. I read everything I could about the Japanese visa application process and working in Japan. I studied the information I collected to think critically about what I needed to accomplish and build a plan. I memorized everything I studied and still remember going for long bike rides where I would meditate (think about) all I needed to accomplish. Ultimately, I had to apply everything I learned to create a plan and execute a job search, interview, visa application, and move to Japan.

Develop habits and systems that promote accountability in your life. We grow when we develop systems and habits that enforce learning, growth, and improvement, and we face the challenges in front of us.

The time it takes to form a new positive habit can vary based on the individual and the complexity of the habit, but research suggests it generally takes 66 days on average. This estimate comes from a 2009 study by Dr. Phillippa Lally and her team, which found that habit formation typically ranged between 18 to 254 days, depending on the person and the behavior.

In my journey to live and work in Japan, I developed several positive habits that I still use today.

I started small. Begin with habits that are so easy that you can't say no. For example, if you want to start exercising, begin with just 5 minutes daily. The key is consistency, not intensity, at the start. In my case, I found a book from the American Chamber of Commerce in Japan. I contacted three to five companies daily, sending them a letter of introduction and my resume, and clearly stating that I would be in Japan on a specific range of dates and would love to meet with them. This small daily habit resulted in 30 interviews over three weeks and four lucrative and not-so-lucrative job offers.

I made sure to Set Clear Intentions. Decide when and where you will do the new habit. Implementation intentions like "I will [HABIT] at [TIME] in [LOCATION]" can be very effective. I knew that the result I was working for was to get at least one job in Japan, and if I could get at least a five percent response to the interview requests, I would be in good shape. I set aside time daily to work on the cover letters and resumes I needed to send. I also parked myself at the local public library to firewall myself away from other distractions.

A few factors that contribute to forming good habits include:

• Consistency: The more regularly you practice a habit, the quicker it becomes ingrained. Walking has become a habit for me. As of writing this newsletter, I have averaged 15,000 to 16,000 steps daily for 595 days straight. I have not even missed on days I was ill or had significant travel.

• Simplicity: Simple habits tend to form faster than more complex ones. I have often failed when I created very complex habits with many steps and obstacles to overcome—trying to take on too many new habits simultaneously. We are only human, and trying to establish reading, healthy eating, exercise, and financial habits at the same time is setting you up for failure. Focus on one habit at a time. Get it locked in, then consider adding additional habits.

• Environment: A supportive environment can make it easier to stick with the habit. If you are going to reframe alcohol as poison to stop drinking, the last thing you want to do is go to the bar with friends five days a week. Create an environment that supports the new habit you are trying to form.

• Motivation: Higher motivation and commitment can speed up the process. It is hard to form habits for things you have no interest in. I dreamed of going to Japan, so it was easy to create habits that would make me successful. I have no interest in becoming a synchronized swimmer, so it would be next to impossible for me to find motivation in anything related to habits that would help me improve my water routine.

The key is to stay patient, consistent and focused on long-term progress rather than immediate results.

I wanted to introduce you to a few concepts that would help you take ownership of your life. The concept of forming positive habits demands its own newsletter and follow-up training materials.

I will publish future newsletters or training course materials to examine this topic in depth. Please share your personal experiences in this area. I would love to hear from you and learn from you.

The Day Warrior

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