10 Life Changing Events

My life has been marked by constant change.

Life rarely changes because of comfort.

It changes because of events that challenge us, break us down, and force us to rise stronger than before.

Do not run away from change.

Embrace it.

Each of these moments is a test—a moment that shapes your character, your discipline, and your purpose.

Here is a list of events that could change your life:

1. Being broke

Being broke and having no money teaches you that comfort is earned, not given—hunger forces action.

When I was "younger" and scraping by in Nagoya as an exchange student, I had to hustle. I learned to stretch a dollar (or a yen), to negotiate better, and to find opportunities others overlooked.

To this day, I have bad memories of having no money during the Christmas and New Year holiday. Everyone in my class and the people in my town all left town for the holiday. Back in the day, money machines and banks would shut down for over a week at the start of the New Year.

Call to Action: Stop seeing “broke” as failure. See it as the fire that forces you to sharpen your skills. Take one step today to invest in yourself—read a book, learn a skill, or build a side hustle.

2. A friend betraying you

A friend betraying you shows you loyalty isn’t about words; it’s about actions.

A friend’s betrayal teaches you that loyalty isn’t about words—it’s about actions.

I have been very blessed in my life. I have not had a significant betrayal, such as a close friend stealing my money, cheating with a girlfriend, or stabbing me in the back with destructive levels of gossip.

Most of the betrayals in my life have revolved around the concept of "micro-betrayals," which may be a word that I just made up.

This would include things like coworkers not carrying their weight or stepping up for projects at work. Another example is my friends who always show up late, which is a form of disrespect for my time.

Call to Action: Audit your circle. Who shows up when it’s inconvenient? That’s your true ally. Build around them, not the ones who only show up when it’s easy.

3. The death of your father

The death of your father or a loved one forces you to step up and become the man you once leaned on.

If your father raised you well, then he prepared you for this day long before it came. Every lesson, every discipline, every moment he pushed you to stand on your own two feet was training for this moment.

When he’s gone, it hits you in a way nothing else does. You realize everything before was a test—every hard job, every argument, every correction, every time he made you figure it out for yourself.

When my father passed, it struck me hard. I had moved back to the United States with my family. I was building a new life, carrying the weight of responsibility on my shoulders.

What hit me most wasn’t just the grief of losing him, but the realization that he had already given me everything I needed before he died.

He had taught me to be independent, disciplined, and resilient. He gave me the foundation to stand on my own two feet—whether in a foreign country where nothing was familiar, or in a new chapter back home where I had to reinvent myself.

When I looked back, I could see that all those years before were a test. And now, with him gone, I had to keep walking forward with the tools he entrusted to me.

Call to Action: If your father is still alive, don’t wait—ask questions, learn his stories, and let him know the impact he’s had on you. If your father has passed away, honor him by living out the lessons he taught you. Carry his foundation forward by building a legacy of your own.

4. Getting your heart broken

Heartbreak reveals that real strength lies in rebuilding oneself.

One of the hardest lessons you can learn is this: your value does not come from the relationships you’re in.

It’s easy to lose yourself in someone else—to believe that your worth is tied to their love, their approval, or their presence in your life.

The Day Warrior mindset teaches us that our value must come from within.

Value comes from our discipline.

Value comes from the skills we build.

Value comes from the purpose we pursue.

When a relationship ends, it feels as though a part of your identity has been torn away.

Instead of giving in, reframe that pain as the spark that forces you to discover who you are without the crutch of someone else.

You begin to see that relationships should help you become better, not hold you back, weaken your standards, or undermine your purpose.

When I was in Japan, I experienced this firsthand. Far from home, I didn’t have family or old friends to lean on when things fell apart. I had to face myself alone. That season taught me resilience. It showed me that my future wasn’t dependent on who stood beside me—it was dependent on whether I had the strength to keep moving forward on my own two feet.

And here’s the paradox: once you’ve built that inner strength, you attract healthier relationships. When you no longer need someone to complete you, you can finally choose people who complement you—who push you higher instead of pulling you down.

This path, which has been a source of my self-worth, led me to find my wife, my partner, the mother of my children. She helps me become a little better every day. She is an active mother who makes sure her boys can speak both Japanese and English. She is a small business owner.

Call to Action: If you’re in the middle of heartbreak, stop asking, “Why did this happen to me?” and start asking, “What can I build from this?” Double down on your habits. Focus on your craft. Strengthen your body and mind. Find your value in yourself first. Only then will the right relationships find their place in your life.

5. Realizing nobody is coming to save you

There’s a day every man faces when he realizes this truth: nobody is coming to save you.

No mentor is going to swoop in and fix everything. No company will guarantee your security. Ultimately, your life is 100% your responsibility.

I learned this the hard way in Japan. Early in my career, I made a critical mistake with my visa timing. I thought I had more leeway than I did, and suddenly I was staring at the possibility of being forced to leave the country. My entire career—the work I had fought for, the life I was building in Asia—was hanging by a thread.

No one else could fix it for me. Not my employer. Not my friends. Not even my family back home. It was on me. I had to own the mistake, navigate the bureaucracy, and fight tooth and nail to make things right.

It was one of the scariest moments of my life. But it was also one of the most important. Because once you realize the weight of your own responsibility, you stop waiting for someone else to make things better. You stop wasting energy on blame. You start moving differently—with urgency, discipline, and ownership.

To this day, I think about all the wonderful things I would have missed out on had I not fought to resolve my visa issue.

I would have missed out on significant career advancements.

I would have never met my wife.

I would have never purchased my first job in Japan.

My two wonderful boys would have never been born.

That experience taught me a lesson I’ve carried ever since: you can’t just rely on willpower—you need systems.

After that close call, I built habits of double-checking, planning, and never letting “small paperwork” threaten my larger mission again. I created reminders, checklists, and deadlines to ensure that critical tasks wouldn’t slip through the cracks. Discipline is good, but discipline tied to systems is what keeps you from repeating avoidable mistakes.

Day Warrior Lesson: Every man must learn that he alone is responsible for the outcomes in his life. Mistakes will happen. Setbacks will come. But when you take full ownership and build systems around your responsibilities, you ensure you won’t stumble over the same obstacle twice.

Call to Action: Where in your life are you still relying on memory or luck? Don’t wait for a crisis. Build a system. Set reminders for critical dates. Track your progress daily. Protect your larger mission by automating the small tasks.

6. Failing publicly

Public failure is one of the most challenging experiences someone can endure—because it’s not just about the mistake itself, it’s about everyone watching.

When you fail in private, you can dust yourself off and move forward quietly. Only you know about the failure. But when you fail in public, there’s no hiding. Everyone is watching.

But here’s the truth: public failure is one of the greatest training grounds for resilience.

I’ve had this experience myself. While living in Japan, I once attempted to launch a side business idea that ultimately fell flat. It wasn’t just that it didn’t work—it was that people saw it not work.

At the time, it felt crushing. But looking back, that experience taught me something far more valuable than the business ever could: humility. I learned how to separate my identity from the opinions of others. I realized that failure wasn’t the end—it was feedback. And I realized that the fear of embarrassment is often worse than the failure itself.

The Day Warrior mindset accepts failure as a natural part of the path. If you are too afraid of being judged, you will never step forward into the arena. The critics will always be there. But they are not the ones writing your story—you are.

Day Warrior Lesson: Public failure doesn’t define you—it refines you. Every stumble in front of others is a chance to prove, first to yourself, that you can rise again.

Call to Action: Where in your life are you holding back because you’re afraid of what others might say? Post your idea. Launch the project. Apply for the role. Start before you’re ready. Remember: the ones who fail in public are often the ones who ultimately succeed in public.

7. Becoming a father

Fatherhood changes everything. Suddenly, life is no longer just about you.

Before kids, you can live for yourself—your career, your hobbies, your personal ambitions. But the day you become a father, you inherit a new mission: to build a life where your children can rise higher than you ever did.

When I became a father, that mission hit me like a ton of bricks.

I got married and had kids much later in life. I was very set in my ways.

My wife would probably say that I am still set in my ways.

I was used to doing this on my schedule.

I had my own habits and systems.

I had my own priorities.

My world revolved around me.

After I got married, and more so when my kids were born, the following Japanese started to hit home:「今日は昨日の我に勝つ」"Kyou wa kinou no ware ni katsu" — Today, win against the me of yesterday. That is the call of fatherhood. Every day, we must be determined to strive to be just a little better, so our sons & daughters can see the example of growth and carry it forward.

For me, it wasn’t enough to keep doing what I had always done. I had to reinvent myself completely. Both my boys were born in Japan.  When they turned 4 and 6, and after 22 years in Japan, I moved my family back to the United States, which forced me to start over—new job, new networks, new systems. It wasn’t easy. But I knew that if I wanted my boys to have opportunities beyond what I had growing up, I had to carve out a better path.

Fatherhood isn’t just about providing—it’s about preparing your children for the world. That’s why, every other year, I fly my in-laws from Japan to the U.S., and every year, I send my kids back to Japan. I want them to know both countries. To speak both languages. To experience two cultures deeply, not just read about them in books. That cultural foundation will become part of their strength—their talent stack—as they grow into men.

The Day Warrior mindset of fatherhood is this: it’s not about giving your kids everything. It’s about giving them the tools, experiences, and principles that will allow them to go further than you ever did. It’s about modeling discipline, resilience, and courage so they see how it’s done—not just hear about it

Day Warrior Lesson: Fatherhood is the ultimate responsibility and the ultimate opportunity. It demands reinvention. It demands sacrifice. But it also offers the deepest reward: building a legacy that outlives you.

Call to Action: If you’re a father, don’t just provide—lead. Create systems of growth for your kids. Teach them by showing them. Expose them to experiences that expand their world. If you’re not yet a father, start building the man you’ll need to be—because the moment will come, and you’ll be tested.

8. Losing a job or business

Losing a job or a business reveals that security is an illusion. It forces you to reinvent yourself. It forces you to move quickly and find another way forward.

I’ve experienced this firsthand. I lost one of my businesses—not in a way that crushed me financially, but in a way that forced me to confront what I didn’t know yet. That experience became one of my most incredible experiences.

My first business was a small audio import company called Audio Basics, which I started in Japan. It was a crash course in entrepreneurship. I learned how to import products from the United States and Europe, navigate customs and import companies, and localize products for the Japanese market. I had to figure out how to advertise and market in a culture that wasn’t my own.

I was able to secure magazine reviews and articles in several of Japan’s major audio publications—something that gave me credibility I couldn’t have bought. I did multiple trade shows. I built a partnership with a local audio store to create a showroom and provide service and support. I learned everything about supporting customers in Japan, including the most minor details of communication and service.

On paper, that business eventually ended. But in reality, it gave me something far more valuable: skills that, when stacked together, formed a foundation I’ve carried through the rest of my career and personal life.

Import/export experience.

Marketing experience.

Negotiation experience.

Cross-cultural communication.

Customer support.

Branding.

International law and taxes.

A bunch of high-value IT skills.

All of these became part of my talent stack.

A Day Warrior doesn’t see the end of a business or job as failure—he sees it as training. Every setback adds to your arsenal. Every lost opportunity teaches you to seize the next one better prepared.

Day Warrior Lesson: Losing a business doesn’t strip you of value—it multiplies it if you take the time to extract the lessons. Failure ends a chapter, but it also expands your skill set for the next one.

Call to Action: If you’ve lost a job or a business, write down everything it taught you. Don’t focus on what you lost—focus on the skills you gained. That inventory of lessons is your hidden advantage, your talent stack, and it will fuel your next opportunity.

9. Facing a major health crisis

A major health crisis forces you to confront your mortality and take ownership of your body and your choices.

For me, that moment came in Japan. I was hospitalized for three weeks with undiagnosed digestive issues. The doctors were puzzled. They ran test after test but couldn’t figure out what was wrong. The situation grew more serious when they started talking about exploratory surgery and even the possibility of resectioning my large intestine—because, in their words, they just didn’t know.

Now, let me be clear—Japanese health care is very good. But for whatever reason, in my case, the diagnosis kept slipping through their fingers. With every day in that hospital bed, I felt my future narrowing, and not in a good way.

They actually had me in a shared room with terminal patients, and I would wake up in the morning, and there would be empty beds where patients had been the night before.

My girlfriend at the time—who is now my wife—refused to give up. She carried my test results around Tokyo, showing them to hospital after hospital, hitting dead end after dead end. Finally, exhausted and frustrated, she let a junior doctor have it. She demanded that someone with more experience look at my case. They reluctantly agreed. Within five minutes of reviewing my file, the senior doctor said, “This is appendicitis. Get him into surgery immediately.”

That was it. A problem that had me trapped in a hospital bed for three weeks was solved in minutes by finding the proper set of eyes and a girlfriend who was vested in our relationship. The surgery went smoothly, and within four days, I was walking out of the hospital. Maybe wheeled out of the hospital is a better description. It did take me time to recover.

That health scare changed me. It forced me to realize how fragile life is, how quickly it can turn, and how much we depend on this one body we’ve been given.

My main takeaway from this experience was that we only get one body. We need to protect it, respect it, and take ownership of it.

Don’t wait for a crisis to make changes. Build systems of health now—through nutrition, movement, rest, and regular check-ups—so you’re not forced into the fight unprepared.

By the way, I soon proposed to my girlfriend at this. She went above and beyond to take care of me when others would have given up.

Day Warrior Lesson: A health scare is a wake-up call. It reminds you that discipline isn’t just for work or success—it’s for survival. Protect your body like it’s the only tool you’ll ever have.

Call to Action: Don’t wait. Do something today for your health. Cut one bad habit. Walk 30 minutes. Schedule the test you’ve been putting off. Your health isn’t negotiable—protect it before it’s tested.

If you are a father or parent, it should be your number one priority. Without your health, you can not take care of and defend your family.

10. Being forced to lead when no one else will

True leadership doesn’t begin when you’re ready—it starts when you stop waiting for permission and step up in the moment.

I learned this lesson during a global workshop for my company. At the time, I was the APAC leader, and as part of the event, we were put into teams for a team-building exercise: a treasure hunt through downtown Minneapolis.

Most of the team leaders were from Corporate—people who lived in the area, were familiar with the city, and had the advantage of local knowledge.

I, on the other hand, wasn’t from Minneapolis. Additionally, I was assigned to a ragtag team. Several members had limited English, a few were very shy, and one woman was not very mobile, which was a problem since the event required a lot of walking.

Some of the team leaders even brought their own cars to the event.

It would have been easy to see this as a recipe for failure. But instead of focusing on what we didn’t have, I focused on what we did have.

• The woman who struggled with mobility turned out to be fearless in talking to strangers. While the rest of us might have hesitated, she had no problem walking into stores and restaurants to ask for directions or help. We built our strategy around her strength—optimizing her walking routes and deploying her as our “face” when we needed information fast.

• Some of the IT folks on my team weren’t comfortable talking to strangers, but they were brilliant at solving problems. We put them to work cracking riddles and puzzle clues while the rest of us kept moving.

• I had a couple of people on the team who were great leaders. We were able to leverage them with a few smaller sub-teams to deploy and complete some of the treasure hunt tasks without the rest of the team.

• We treated every limitation as a resource to be optimized, rather than an obstacle to complain about.

By the end, something unexpected happened—we won. My team of underdogs, with every reason to fall behind, came in first place.

That experience cemented one of my strongest beliefs: leadership isn’t about having the best resources—it’s about maximizing the resources you already have. Great leaders don’t see weaknesses; they see opportunities to use people’s strengths in unconventional ways.

A principle you should consider is this: when no one else wants to lead, step up. When you’re given a team that looks mismatched or disadvantaged, refuse to make excuses. Find the strengths. Use them. Create a system that allows everyone to contribute. When you create systems and an environment that promotes success, you’ll often shock the people who underestimated you.

Day Warrior Lesson: Leadership isn’t about being the smartest in the room or the most experienced in the field—it’s about elevating the people around you.

Call to Action: Look around you today. Where is leadership needed, but no one is stepping forward? At work, in your family, in your community? Stop waiting for permission. Be the one who steps in, organizes the chaos, and turns limitations into strengths.

Final Thoughts

Life doesn’t change in the comfort zone. It changes in the fire—through loss, betrayal, heartbreak, failure, and the moments when you’re forced to step up before you’re ready.

Each of these experiences can either break you—or forge you into something stronger.

Being broke can fuel your hunger.

Betrayal can sharpen your discernment.

Losing your father can reveal the foundation he gave you.

Heartbreak can teach you that your worth comes from within.

Realizing no one is coming to save you can ignite ownership.

Public failure can humble you and lead to growth.

Fatherhood can reinvent your entire life.

Losing a business can build a talent stack you’ll use forever.

A health scare can remind you to protect the only body you have.

Leadership, when forced upon you, can reveal strengths you didn’t know existed.

These are not obstacles—they are the very events that shape your discipline, your character, and your purpose.

A Day Warrior doesn’t run from these moments. He leans into them, knowing they are the tests that define him.

Your Call to Action: Think back—what was the event that changed you the most? What did it teach you? And most importantly, how are you using that lesson today to push forward, to lead, and to build the legacy only you can create?

If you take nothing else from this newsletter, remember this: life’s most painful chapters are often the training grounds for your most significant victories.

Stay disciplined.

Stay relentless.

Be a Day Warrior.

The Day Warrior

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