A Life Of Inaction Can Lead to Regret

Nearly a lifetime ago, I had a very good friend in high school whom I was inseparable with for my senior and junior years.

We did everything together, including going to our prom. I remember the last class day of our senior year and the same day as prom; I fought with a guy, whom I later learned was a total nut job. Indeed, he was a mentally unstable individual who was so nuts that his ex-girlfriend and her entire family had to move out of state to get away from him.

It was a crazy event. I never get in, nor do I start fights. We were in the band room, talking to some friends. I was not in a band; I just happened to be in the band room. A football was sitting on the table. I grabbed it and tossed it to my good friend. We tossed it a few times, and the "crazy guy" politely asked me to stop throwing his football. In high school, when someone asks you to stop doing things, the first thing you do is stop, right? Well, not me; I threw the ball one more time, and before I knew it, the guy was behind me and had me in a full-fledged chokehold. At first, I thought the guy was joking around; who goes nuts over throwing their football? Well, this guy did; he was trying to kill me or at least do some significant physical harm.

This is the point where my buddy stepped in and smoked the guy with a straight right to the head. His hand bounced off of his head, right into mine, giving me a semi-black eye the day of the prom. The crazy guy backed off, but I have no idea how that day would have turned out had my friend not been there. I am definitely grateful he was.

Fast forward to the summer holiday after graduation. I was headed to college in the fall, and my buddy was headed off to boot camp with dreams of becoming a Navy Seal. The two of us created a small window-washing business to make money over the summer. Both of us were stubborn in our approach to moving our small company forward and how to divide the profits from our summer company. We grew apart, and he moved on to cutting lawns and stuck to washing windows.

It was a crazy situation. We were close as hell one day and not close the next. We did not hate each other, but we probably at least reached the level of "friendly adversaries." It bugged the heck out of me. Our prides were stuck in the way, and summer ended with no resolution. I stayed home for college, and my buddy shipped off to boot camp.

I thought about my friend often after that fall and winter. I missed him and wanted to square things away with him the next time he was back in town. The funny thing is, there never really was a harsh word between us. We had this weird silent rift between us that could have been solved over a couple of beers and a burger.

One day, while getting ready for a part-time job, I received a phone call from another close friend. After a short greeting, he asked me if I was sitting down. He wanted to inform me that he had just received a call from our shared friend's parents that my good friend had been killed by a drunk driver the night before while leaving the base after training.

I was stunned. I was silent. The regret I felt was immediate. My friend died without knowing how much I cared for him. He died without knowing how sorry I was.

I felt significant regret the day I got the news about my friend.

I feel that regret still today.

I miss that I never saw my buddy become a Navy Seal. He would have been an incredible Navy Seal.

I often wonder how my life would have been shaped differently if he was still around.

What was the cost of my inaction? What if I had reached out and resolved our differences?

The Cost of Inaction: What You Risk by Standing Still

All of us experience inaction in our lives.

Inaction can quietly become one of the greatest obstacles to our future success. When we hesitate or avoid taking steps forward, we risk missing out on valuable opportunities that may never come again.

My inaction was not reconciling with my best friend.

When we let inaction take hold of our lives, it can delay or even prevent future opportunities, keeping us stuck in the past.

Fear can cause inaction and can close doors that would have otherwise led us down a path of growth and success. Instead of moving forward, we often find ourselves stuck looking into the past and focusing on how things could have been.

The longer we are stuck in a state of inaction, the more it will hold us back from the opportunities waiting for us.

Over time, this inaction builds into regret, delaying our progress and hurting our chances for growth and achievement. The longer we remain stuck, the more we limit our potential, allowing opportunities to pass by and leaving us with nothing but “what ifs.”

Taking action today is the key to unlocking the opportunities of tomorrow.

Inaction is often considered the ultimate failure in life for several reasons:

Missed Opportunities: Inaction leads to missed chances for personal growth, success, and fulfillment. When people fail to take action, they miss out on experiences that could have opened doors, led to success, or taught valuable lessons. Opportunities rarely present themselves twice, and inaction results in regrets for undone things.

My missed opportunity was not reconciling with my friend. It was an opportunity that would never present itself again.

An example of this could be not taking advantage of opportunities such as career advancement because you were scared or lacked the confidence to do so. It could also be missed opportunities for self-growth or education.

Dropping out of college is a basic example of something people might regret later in life.

Paralysis by Fear: Inaction is often driven by fear of failure, rejection, or judgment. Allowing fear to dictate decisions creates a life of stagnation, where potential remains unrealized. Taking action, even if it leads to failure, helps people grow and learn, whereas inaction leads to nothingness.

I talk about this often in my newsletters and social media posts. Letting fear, lack of confidence, or complacency prevent you from taking action at critical moments can lead to regret. This is similar to missed opportunities, leading to regret over what could have been achieved or experienced.

The most common example is the fear of making mistakes instead of seeing them as opportunities to create the experience you need to succeed in life.

Wasted Potential: Inaction prevents people from using their talents and abilities to make a difference. As mentioned in the metaphor “dying with the music still in you,” many people never express their unique gifts. This is considered a failure because it squanders the potential to impact the world and live a meaningful life positively.

How many stories of wasted potential have you heard about because people do not take action?

How about missed career advancements when someone fails to apply for a job or take on a promotion because of fear or self-doubt? This wasted opportunity can lead to stagnation, preventing personal growth and the chance to rise in your career.

Missed or lost business opportunities are another example. Hesitating to start a business or invest in a project out of fear of risk can lead to missed entrepreneurial opportunities, allowing others to fill the market gap or capitalize on innovative ideas. Timing is everything.

What about your health? This is a huge wasted opportunity. Putting off exercise, healthy eating, or medical checkups can lead to long-term health problems. Inaction in maintaining physical well-being reduces energy, quality of life, and opportunities for future activities.

Regret: The big "R." A life of inaction often leads to deep regret. People look back on missed opportunities, wondering what could have been if they had leaped. Inaction causes a lingering sense of dissatisfaction because it represents unfulfilled potential and unrealized dreams.

This is one I still feel today because I did not take the time to rekindle my lost relationship with my buddy before his accident.

Regret can prevent you from accomplishing the important things in your life if you let it.

Regret impacts us, and our behavior can affect those around us. Regret can cause you to withdraw from those you care about or even act out negatively. The behavior you can exhibit from regret can damage your relationships with friends, family, and work colleagues.

Regret can create overwhelming and persistent sadness, guilt, and frustration.

Regret can have such an overwhelming impact on our lives that I wrote an entire newsletter highlighting ways to overcome it with discipline.

Failure to Grow: Growth comes from action—learning from success or failure. Inaction leads to stagnation because it prevents individuals from pushing their boundaries, learning new things, or developing resilience. Without action, personal and professional development is stunted, leading to a failure to evolve.

Strategies to Overcome Inaction

I am unsure if you would call these strategies or just advice, but here are a few "methods" I would try to get unstuck.

Go For A Walk

First on the list, I will throw out "go for a walk" immediately. This is my go-to solution for everything.

Get moving. 

Do something physical. 

There is nothing like resetting your thoughts by taking a nice walk. When dealing with mental blocks, I can start to get some mental clarity if I take a 30——to 45-minute walk: no audiobooks, no music, just me and my thoughts. Walking with just your thoughts can become like a physical meditation session. 

Walking can immediately clear your mind. Walking clears the mental clutter and helps break the cycle of overthinking, which often causes inaction. Walking gives us the mental space to process thoughts more clearly and creatively.

Identify The Root Cause Of Your Inaction

Now that you are walking, work to identify the root cause of your inaction.

Do some self-reflection. What is bugging you? Determine why you are stuck. What is holding you back? Is it the fear of failure? Remind yourself of the value of facing your challenges head-on!

Is it the need for more clarity? Are you trying to be a perfectionist? Understanding the cause is the first step in addressing it.

Break Tasks Into Smaller Steps

We often need to make our goals more straightforward to obtain. It is great to have goals, but sometimes, the work required to start and complete your goal feels so unachievable that the goal creates fear and inaction instead of motivation and action.

For example, I wanted to live and work in Japan twenty-five years ago. When I set this goal, I lived in Michigan, spoke no Japanese, and was just a lowly college graduate starting my career. The thought of moving to and being a successful businessman in Japan sometimes felt so overwhelming that it was easier to dream about it versus taking the action I needed to make it happen.

These feelings of being overwhelmed often lead to inaction.

Instead, break your goals into small, manageable tasks and focus on completing them one at a time.

It is all about getting a little better every day.

It is all about completing a little more every day.

Celebrate those small wins and accomplishments to create the necessary momentum and build confidence.

In my case, I broke my goal of working in Japan into smaller milestones and addressed them one at a time. I went back to school to study Japanese. I signed up for an exchange program to get to Japan and experience what it was like. I created the connections I needed that would help me get back to Japan. I learned everything I needed to know about work visas and the process of moving to Japan. I devised a strategy to contact companies with my resume even while still living in the US. I interviewed with companies and ultimately had a fulfilling twenty-plus-year career living and working in Japan.

Embrace Discipline

Discipline is key to overcoming procrastination and inaction. Embrace discipline immediately.

I am a discipline fanboy. That does not mean I always get it right, but I understand its direct connection with output, performance, and results.

Discipline is the bridge between sovereignty and personal success. It transforms dreams into reality, providing the foundation for self-governance and achieving your highest potential.

Discipline is about creating the essential habits you need that push you towards action, even when motivation is lacking.

With one short paragraph, I cannot do enough justice to the importance of discipline in your life, so I will refer you to two other newsletters I released on this subject.

Master the Art of Self-Discipline

Overcoming Regret With Discipline

Conclusion

In summary, overcoming inaction is about cultivating discipline, setting realistic goals, and understanding that the pain of regret is far greater than the discomfort of taking imperfect action.

I will publish future newsletters or training course materials to examine this topic in depth. Please share your personal experiences in this area. I would love to hear from you and learn from you.

The Day Warrior

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