The Men We Need - Book Review

Author: Brant Hansen

How do we become better men and fathers? How do we protect, serve, encourage, and gain the trust of those around us? We need more real men like this in our world, but there are so many conflicting messages about what real men are. There are conflicting ideas and messages about a “real man.” Is a real man one who hunts, loves sports, grills meat, fixes cars, and climbs mountains? This book goes into some detail on this subject.

The book “The Men We Need” by Brant Hansen explores the concept of what it means to be a man from a Christian perspective. Hansen proposes a vision of men as “keepers of the garden,” emphasizing their role in protecting and defending the vulnerable. He suggests that true masculinity is not defined by societal norms or stereotypes but by faithfulness to this job.

Some of the main points of the book include:

1. Men as “Keepers of the Garden”: This is a central theme, suggesting that men should use their strength to safeguard the innocent and provide a safe space for people to thrive.

2. The Six Decisions: Hansen outlines six critical decisions he believes men need to make to live according to God’s design. These decisions encourage men to be present in the world, to take their roles seriously, and to lean into their spiritual lives.

3. Critique of Modern Masculinity: Hansen critiques the cultural confusion surrounding masculinity, arguing that it often leads to distortion, anxiety, violence, and meaninglessness. He suggests that men need to find their identity in their God-given roles rather than societal expectations.

4. Importance of Faithfulness: The book emphasizes the importance of men being faithful to their roles, whether they are traditionally masculine or not. It encourages men to be loyal and dedicated to their families and communities.

5. Impact on the rest of the Family: While the book is primarily about men, it also highlights the significant impact men’s actions and decisions have on the women and children around them.

The book provides a fresh perspective on manhood, calling for men to be ambitious about the right things and to see themselves as defenders of the vulnerable, with whatever resources they have. The core of Hansen’s vision for men is emphasizing the importance of faithfulness, protection, and spiritual growth in fulfilling God’s purpose for their lives.

Returning to the six critical decisions each man must make, I believe the decisions apply to all men and can be translated to the role that women and mothers play in our lives.

1. Men must forsake the fake and relish the real. This decision encourages men to embrace authenticity and reject the superficial things in their lives.

2. Men must protect the vulnerable. Men are called to use their strength and resources to safeguard the innocent and create a safe space for others to thrive.

3. Men must be present in the world. This decision emphasizes the importance of men being fully engaged and present in their communities rather than withdrawing from distractions or isolation. This one especially holds true for me because I have so much experience getting busy with my job and my hobbies, and I can see a direct impact on how my two boys behave when I do this. When I am engaged their attitudes at home and school improve, when I am overly preoccupied with “my stuff,” their behavior shifts poorly.

4. Men must take their roles seriously. Men are encouraged to recognize the impact of their actions and decisions on those around them and to take responsibility for their roles in family, work, and society.

5. Men must lean into their spiritual lives. This decision requires deepening their relationship with God and relying on their faith to guide their actions and decisions.

6. Men must maximize their ambition. Rather than pursuing worldly success or material gain, they are encouraged to focus their ambition on what truly matters—their relationships, their spiritual growth, and their impact on others.

I do want to take a moment to talk about those who do not believe or have a connection with God. How does one lean on your spiritual life without believing in God, you can explore various practices and philosophies that help cultivate inner peace, self-awareness, and connection with the world around you. I do not want the people reading this post to walk away from some good ideas about being a good man or father just because they cannot connect with the author’s beliefs.

Here are some suggestions:

1. Mindfulness and meditation: Practicing mindfulness and meditation can help you stay present in the moment, reduce stress, and develop a deeper understanding of your thoughts and emotions. This can be done without any religious or spiritual beliefs.

2. Connect with nature: Spending time in nature can foster a sense of awe and wonder, helping you feel more connected to the world and your place within it. This connection can provide a sense of peace and purpose.

3. Engage in reflective practices: Journaling, art, or other forms of self-expression can help you process your thoughts and emotions, leading to a deeper understanding of yourself and your place in the world.

4. Cultivate gratitude: Focusing on the things you’re grateful for in your life can help you develop a more positive outlook and a greater appreciation for the world around you.

5. Explore secular humanism: Secular humanism is a philosophy that emphasizes human values, ethics, and reason, without the need for a belief in God. This can provide a framework for living a meaningful and ethical life.

6. Connect with others: Building strong relationships with friends, family, and community members can provide a sense of belonging and support, which can be essential for a fulfilling life.

7. Find purpose and meaning: Engage in activities that give your life meaning and purpose, such as volunteering, pursuing a passion, or working towards a personal goal.

Here is a little more information about the author:

Brant Hansen is an author, nationally syndicated radio host, and advocate for healing children through  CURE International.

He’s won national “personality of the year” awards for his work on his offbeat and quirky radio show, which airs on more than 200 stations. His podcast with his friend and radio producer, Sherri Lynn (“The Brant and Sherri Oddcast”) has been downloaded more than 10 million times.

He leverages his radio platform to advance the healing work of CURE, which provides life-changing surgeries for children with treatable conditions.

His first book, Unoffendable, has prompted a national discussion on the idea of forgiveness, and our culture’s embrace of self-righteous anger.

His second book, both provocative and very personal, is Blessed are the Misfits: Great News for Those Who Are Introverts, Spiritual Strugglers, or Just Feel Like They’re Missing Something. In this book, Hansen addresses his own, and many others’,  inability to “feel God’s presence”, and how God might Himself feel about that.

His latest,  The Truth About Us: The Very Good News About How Very Bad We Are, hit bestseller lists in spring/summer of 2020.

Brant speaks to groups/conferences/churches when his schedule allows.

He has written for CNN.com, The Washington Post, U.S. News and World Report, The South Florida Sun-Sentinel, Relevant, and numerous other outlets on matters as varied as public policy, culture, sports, Asperger’s Syndrome, and faith. He’s been a game inventor, fronted a modern rock band, and still dabbles in singing and songwriting.

He’s traveled extensively throughout the world for CURE and other groups, including multiple trips to CURE’s hospital for women and children in Afghanistan.

He has been married for 30 years to Carolyn, and they have two grown children.

You can purchase the book at Amazon.com.