“People don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it. And what you do simply proves what you believe.”
Years ago, I was living and working in Japan.
I had been working for the same company for about six to seven years.
At the time, I was known inside the company as “the Japan guy.”
I had a bigger vision — I wanted to expand my scope and take responsibility for the entire Asia Pacific region. I didn’t just wish that into existence. Titles don’t appear out of thin air, and opportunities don’t chase you unless you’ve already proven your value.
To make that leap, I had to live by three principles — the same ones this newsletter summarizes:
Know — they see what you do.
Like — they connect with your “why.”
Trust — they believe because your actions prove it.
These aren’t just concepts for sales or marketing. They’re the core of influence, leadership, and personal growth.
For someone to buy what you’re selling — whether it’s a product, a vision, promotion, or a belief — they first have to know, like, and trust you.
That’s not just sales advice.
It’s a universal principle of human connection.
We’re all selling something every day:
A business idea for our boss.
A lesson to our kids.
A dream for our spouse.
A better version of ourselves to the world.
And just like in business, no one “buys in” if they don’t know who you are, if they don’t like what you represent, and if they can’t trust your consistency.
Let’s break it down.
Know — Visibility Matters
If you’re invisible, you’re irrelevant.
You could have the best idea, the strongest work ethic, or the purest intentions — but if no one sees you, it doesn’t matter.
Visibility isn’t about showing off.
It’s about showing up.
Show up consistently for your goals.
Show up for your family.
Show up for your audience — even when no one claps.
When I worked in Japan, I could have easily kept my head down.
My life there was simple and fulfilling.
But in an effort to grow and become a better version of myself, I decided to keep my head up.
I made an effort to have a seat at the table for solving problems — not only in Japan but across the entire Asia Pacific region.
I began framing solutions not just in terms of how they helped Japan, but how they could improve outcomes for the entire company.
I supported colleagues across the region, built connections, and made myself accessible and visible to the people back at corporate in the United States.
Over time, I became known as the person who could collaborate and get things done — not just in Japan, but anywhere.
People can’t believe in what they can’t see.
In Japan, there’s a saying:
「継続は力なり」 (Keizoku wa chikara nari) — “Continuance is power.”
Keep showing up, day after day.
That’s how people come to know you.
I would have remained invisible had I not made a purposeful effort to become visible.
That one action I took opened doors that led to roads I never thought were available to me.
Like — Authenticity Attracts
People are drawn to realness and authenticity.
In a world full of filters and personas, authenticity is your competitive edge.
Your ability to connect at a personal level is a superpower.
Be the same person in public and in private.
Let your words and your actions match.
You don’t need to be perfect — just genuine.
Your attempts at perfection will distance you, but honesty draws people in.
But let’s be clear:
Being liked doesn’t mean doing what you’re told.
It doesn’t mean sacrificing your values, integrity, or ethics just to fit in.
People might admire those who play the game, but they respect those who stand for something — even when it’s unpopular.
My experience in Japan taught me that to be liked, you have to stand by your values, support your team, and find the path that leads to collaborative solutions.
For me, it was never about personal gain (okay, maybe a little bit); it was about finding common ground between the teams I worked with.
If the U.S. were trying to roll out a new technology that could disrupt processes valued by Japanese customers, I would work to bridge the gaps between the two sides.
I helped the U.S. team understand the risks that change posed to the Japan customer, while also assisting the Japan team to see the benefits of flexibility — how it could strengthen both the customer relationship and the company as a whole.
The like came from standing up for both teams — from being transparent, sharing information openly, and helping everyone see that no one had to lose for both sides to win.
That’s what authenticity looks like in action: building connection without compromising who you are.
Genuine likability comes from consistency of character.
When people know that your decisions are grounded in values, not approval, they may not always agree with you — but they’ll respect you.
“What’s right is not always popular, and what’s popular is not always right.”
People like those who live their truth, not those who trade it for acceptance.
Trust — The Bedrock of All Relationships
Trust is built slowly — one act of discipline at a time.
Show up when you say you will.
Do what you said you’d do.
Be who you promised to be.
It’s easy to build momentum when people trust your word.
It’s also easy to lose it all with one careless act.
Several years ago, when my Asia Pacific team was being reorganized into a global IT organization, which I supported, we had to make some tough choices about the roles my existing team would play.
The new structure made sense strategically, but it risked relegating a group of highly skilled and experienced professionals to what was essentially desktop support.
I could have stayed quiet, protected my own job, and done what I was told. But that would have been the easy path — and the wrong one.
Instead, I fought hard to make sure their talents were recognized. I spent time selling the CIO and leadership on their capabilities, proposing a model where the team would serve as an advanced global service desk — supporting a broader scope of applications and solutions.
At first, there was resistance, but as I continued to make my case with facts, examples, and conviction, they started to listen.
Eventually, they saw what I saw — a group of people capable of much more than their titles suggested.
And the results spoke for themselves:
One of my team leaders in China was promoted to a global manager, overseeing the global help desk during Asia Pacific hours. He became a trusted, high-performing member of the global team.
My Japan team — who years earlier struggled with English — began taking calls from factories in the United States, solving problems overnight while the U.S. IT team slept.
A year after I left the organization, my CIO called me to share how my team continued to excel — a testament to the trust and autonomy I’d built into them while I was there.
These are all huge wins that I am still proud of today.
That experience reinforced what I already believed: trust multiplies when you empower others to lead.
The real measure of leadership isn’t how well your team performs while you’re there — it’s how well they perform after you’re gone.
Trust is like a savings account — it grows through small, consistent deposits of integrity.
Break it once, and you’re back to square one.
What is that saying, you can go to one hundred good restaurants, but which one do you remember the most? The one that broke the trust between the seller and customer and provided poor service.
As Jocko Willink said, “Discipline equals freedom.”
Trust is the freedom you earn through discipline.
Bringing It All Together
When people know you, they pay attention.
When they like you, they engage.
When they trust you, they follow.
Whether you’re building a brand, leading a team, or raising a family — these three pillars are non-negotiable.
It’s not about being flashy.
It’s about being seen, being real, and being reliable.
The Day Warrior way is to live with purpose, build with consistency, and let your discipline do the talking.
Ask yourself today:
Do people know what I stand for?
Do they like me because I’m real, not rehearsed?
Do they trust me because I keep my word?
Influence isn’t granted.
It’s earned, through the systems you build and the discipline you live by.
- The Day Warrior
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