Why Most Men Feel Busy but Undisciplined

This past week was chaos.

Work blew up in all the predictable ways with unexpected issues, pressure from multiple directions, and the kind of ambiguity that makes even experienced leaders second-guess themselves.

There were moments where it would have been easy to get reactive.

There were moments I wanted to complain.

There were momements I wanted to mentally check out and just “survive the week.”

I did not do any of these things.

I did not push forward because I felt motivated. I was definitely not motivated.

It was also not because the week was clean or controlled.

Instead I leaned on one of the systems I had in place. Not a perfect system but one that allowed me to stay ground and turn a bad week into a win.

When things this week didn’t make sense, I reframed them, not as a problems, but as an opportunities to learn and become a better version of myself.

When things felt out of control, I narrowed my focus to what I could control. When the noise got loud, I kept moving forward anyway.

By Friday, that same chaotic week ended with:

Nothing magical changed.

I just stuck to my system.

The strain and pressure most men feel is not from a lack of effort.
It comes from operating without systems.

In the absence of structure, the day naturally fills with mediocre tasks.

Other people’s priorities set the pace.
Urgency replaces intention.
Poor decisions are made in real time, under pressure.
Energy is lost through constant adjustment and competing priorities.

By the end of the week:

Much has happened, but little has be accomplished, and there is no motivation in sight

One of the worst feeling in the world is to complete a bunch of work, but to have no sense of accomplishment. This is the cost of living reactively.

Systems exist to prevent this.

They decide in advance:

Without systems, effort scatters.
Without systems, work stops, progress stalls, goals end.
With systems, work moves, progress compounds, goals come within reach.

Tension and stress are controlled not by doing more, but by creating structure instead of letting chaos decide.

Being busy is often just a reaction.

Discipline is governance.

When your days are run by:

You feel productive while slowly losing control.

Sometimes you feel unproductive because these items hit you all at once, preventing you from accomplishing anything.

That’s not a character flaw.

It’s a system failure.

Most men don’t lack willpower.

They lack structure.

Motivation is a feeling.

Discipline is a way of operating.

Discipline is a system you live inside.

Discipline is what you default to when things break.

That distinction matters more than most men realize.

Motivation might show up when things are clear, calm, and going your way.  Discipline shows up when none of that is true.

This past week was a perfect example for me.

There was nothing motivating about it.

Work was chaotic.

Information was incomplete.

Priorities were shifting in real time.

Information was coming at me fast, and I had difficulty processing.

If I had relied on motivation, I would have stalled, waiting for clarity, confidence, and things to settle down.

That is not life.

I knew none of those things would happen, and I did not wait. Instead, discipline kicked in.

Discipline, for me, meant this:

That’s what discipline actually is.

Not intensity.

Not displays of toughness.

Not white-knuckling your way through the week.

Discipline is the ability to act correctly without needing to feel good first.

A system is simply a decision you no longer have to make.

You don’t “feel like” brushing your teeth. You just do it.

That’s a system.

A system is not a checklist.

A system is a repeatable structure that produces progress without requiring heroics.

A system:

As Scott Adams has said, goals are something you eventually stop pursuing. Systems are something you live inside.

That distinction matters.

Goals rely on future outcomes.

Systems govern present behavior.

A goal says, “I’ll be disciplined when I get there.”

A system says, “This is how I operate today.”

In practice, a system does three critical things:

That’s why systems matter so much for men carrying real responsibility.

When life gets noisy, systems stay quiet and compound.

Quiet systems compound.

Discipline isn’t intensity.

It’s consistency made easy.

This is something I did not understand for a long time.

I was goal-focused instead of system-focused for many years.

A system doesn’t argue with you.

It doesn’t get emotional.

It doesn’t need reassurance.

It doesn’t care how chaotic the day feels.

It just runs.

When life gets noisy—emails, opinions, pressure, uncertainty—a system doesn’t add to the noise by asking:

That’s where most men lose momentum.

A quiet system removes those questions entirely.

A system is an automatic response.

For me, my automatic system is walking. It is the system I use to make sure I get daily exercise. It is the system I use to get my brain unstuck when solving a problem. When stress elevates, a short walk can calm things down.

My walking is a system because it removes choice

I don’t ask:

My decision to walk every day was already made long ago.

My walking system has become a pre-decided behavior.

As of writing this newsletter on January 24th, 2026, my "walking system" has created the discipline required to meet my daily walking goals for the last 1,077 days. That is 18 days short of 3 years in a row, not missing my daily walks.

The crazy thing is, no mental effort is required.

It is just something that happens every day.

It is a decision that was made a long time ago.

Your kids aren’t learning from what you say.

They’re learning from what runs your life.

Chaos teaches chaos.

Structure teaches calm.

When your home runs on predictable systems:

Your habits become their curriculum.

They are learning from what you repeat, not what you explain.

Systems are not meant to be big changes.

That is why goals fail; they are often so large that people give up because the mountain is too big to climb.

Systems are meant to be small decisions that become permanent.

Most men avoid systems because they think it means:

That’s not how systems work.

This week, don’t overhaul your life.

Instead, pick one friction point:

Then ask one simple question:

“What small system would make this 1% easier every day?”

That concept is straight from James Clear.

The Day Warrior frame is "Getting a Little Better Every Day."

Your system does not need to be perfect.

Your system does not need to be impressive.

Your system just needs to be repeatable.

One other hint: You can change your system. Modify and adjust your system as you learn more.

Over time, those quiet improvements become a discipline you can trust.

I had a crazy week.

I did not feel motivated.

When things got hard, I just reframed the situation as an opportunity to learn and get a little better each day.

That allowed me to keep executing instead of just sitting in my office feeling sorry for myself.

What I did wasn't just doing positive thinking or mindset fluff.

It was more of a pre-decided cognitive response, and that’s exactly what makes it a system.

Was my system perfect?

Absolutely not.

There were moments where I felt like giving up, but it was the end result that mattered, and my systems helped me get there.

Life will never be quiet for long.

That is just not a luxury any of us has.

There will always be pressure, uncertainty, and competing demands.

Waiting for calm is a losing strategy.

The men who move forward are not the most motivated.

They are the most governed.

They build systems that carry them when clarity is missing.

They act correctly even when conditions aren’t ideal.

They focus on what they can control—and release the rest.

That is discipline in its truest form.

Not force.

Not intensity.

Just steady, repeatable action.

As Macus Aurelius wrote:

“You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”

Build the system.

Return to it daily.

Let the results take care of themselves.

The Day Warrior

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